Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Derailed

My dear readers,

I have so much to say about what's been going on this week in the world of weight loss and exercise, but I just can't summon up the concentration to put pen to paper (as it were) to tell you about it.

My uncle called last night to tell me my grandmother (my only living grandparent) is not doing well. We--her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren--have a family reunion planned for her 93rd birthday in Ohio in the middle of April. Her doctor seems to think she might not hold on that long.

She has Alzheimer's and is happy as a clam in her little fog, for which we are all grateful, and although I haven't seen her for four years (since my grandfather's funeral, in fact), that's not what bothers me.

What really kills me is that she may never get to meet my daughter. I was really looking forward to getting a picture of a direct line of four generations of women--the Cricket, me, my mother, and her mother--because although I know neither of them will remember or particularly appreciate it, I would love to have a photo to show the Cricket later when I tell her what a wonderful woman her Great-Grandma was. It took the Boy and me so long to get pregnant, and Grandma has been on the decline for years now--so it seems cruel that just when the stars align for two of my favorite people to meet, one of them is on the way out of the world they shared for eight short months.

Anyway. I just wanted to explain my silence and why I'm currently counting days instead of calories.

Be well, my dear friends. I am as ever

Your Faithful,
Zapatera

3 comments:

VenetianBlond said...

My grandfather also has late stage Alzheimer's, and when we visited with Conan, I was unsure about what it would mean to either one of them. However, my grandfather was watching Conan goof off and he said, "That's a fine boy." (best imagined in the NC accent) That's all I needed to hear, really, whether or not he knew whose boy it was. If she's able to hang on, that visit will be meaningful. I'll be thinking of you.

Eli said...

Somewhere, in this crazy universe of ours, your grandma 'knows' Teagan and is proud of the mother that you have become. That, strangely, I am sure of. I will keep your family in my prayers an hope that the meeting (and photo) will go as planned. I love you beautiful...

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother...

I'll pray for your family (not that I don't every night anyhow...)

Love,
Sis